scary – SUNKISSED SOUL

“I’M JUST CURIOUS WHY IT IS AGE APPROPRIATE FOR KIDS K-5 TO LEARN ABOUT HIDING UNDER THEIR DESK AND NOT THAT SOMETIMES PEOPLE HAVE TWO DADS.”

I posted this the other day and boy did I ever get feedback. If you have been around me much at all, I have a reputation for enjoying open dialogue, considering other perspectives and respecting those whether I agree or disagree.

Yesterday, a person chose to comment in a condescending, foolish, ignorant and attacking manner. I am glad they showed their true colors so I could see them for who they are sooner rather than later. I don’t have the energy to fight that.

I am open to learning and hopeful that readers or those commenting are of the same mindset; or will at least please respect these boundaries. No matter the stance taken; please be kind; respectful and compassionate. I promise it’s easier to hear those efforts.

To all the rest of you who have kept dialogue healthy and respectful, no matter your viewpoints, I thank you. This is how we grow.

Now…I want to address my thoughts on the original post and explain my stance. Not because it is needed; rather, because I believe this is a topic worthy of discussion and I don’t want to take the lazy way out and stop the conversation.

Here is the quote…”I am just curious why it’s age appropriate for kids k-5 to learn about hiding under desks and not that sometimes people have two dads.”

I read this and thought to myself; “good point. Why is that? It is definitely worth exploring.”
I did not even consider it within the school context. I considered it within the context of the dear children and families I work with. I thought of it in the context of living in a society where we teach fear, judgement and intolerance far more than we teach lovingkindness, grace and acceptance. I would agree wholeheartedly that SAFE discussions need to happen at home. That’s ideal. Guess what? It’s also not our reality.
It was said that this was not an accurate quote bc it compared apples and oranges. I would say it compares physical safety and emotional safety. Both are significant. Both are social issues. Both impact our children on a daily basis; even if we turn a blind eye. Hiding under a desk bc of danger of death and bodily harm and hiding who we (or our families) are bc being authentic in real life offers us another kind of death…equally tragic.

I am truly grateful for all of the thoughts shared. This is where I was and where I am still coming from. Also, if you have not gotten to know someone who is different than you in a way that you are uncomfortable with, I implore you….seek them out and get to know them. More love, less fear. This world is scary enough on it’s own.

You know… Over a year ago, a wonderful man came back into my life. We had initially met in 2018 when we were both really broken and we had a super fun time together.

We drifted apart but remained friends, checking in with each other over the years. That man came back into my life at the beginning of Covid.

A friendship grew into a real life relationship. We were a couple. 🙂 We even decided to put it on social media….”in a relationship “!

I remember when we did that, I was terrified. I was wondering what people would think. Were they think we were like giddy high schoolers?. Kind of we were… This part was a first for both of us.. And man did it feel good to know someone was proud to publicly and proudly “claim” me? Yes!

Would they judge us if it didn’t last? Would they relish in our togetherness and then make scandalous stories up about our demise? It was scary. We did it anyway.

So what’s the point of my sharing?

Relationships can be very scary. Each person has been traveling their own journey and very likely, one or both parties have been hurt before. Now we are supposed to trust and love again… Things that deepen (or don’t) with time.

If we are willing participants, relationships, whatever the outcome, teach things about ourselves.. Sometimes they teach us absolutely beautiful things that we are proud of… Like how big we are really able to love. Sometimes they teach us things about ourselves when another layer is exposed and we know that we need more healing. Either way… There are lessons to learn and beauty to be had.

Back to that wonderful man… We had time together filled with ups and downs just like life. We grew individually and together. We taught, loved and supported one another. In the end, we are better as friends in this season.

We are both back to “single“ as our relationship status on social media. I don’t feel silly or dumb. I feel thankful for the journey and proud that we opened ourselves up to the experience.

“Single” doesn’t change our value, our worthiness, or our desire to love and be loved.

Single doesn’t change that this man is one of the most extraordinary, big hearted, warriors that I have ever known.

Single doesn’t change how thankful I am for the journey, whatever the outcome.

We don’t love to win or to lose. We love to love.