One of those rare nights that gained a forever spot in my heart…Laying in the grass, staring at the stars and connecting; real conversation, singing those songs that bring back so much, laughing hysterically and a bit of yummy wine….exactly the medicine my heart needed.
Stop asking yourself if he likes you and start asking yourself if you like him. The tides change.
Also…if he really like you, you probably wouldn’t be wondering if he does bc he would’ve communicated that clearly.
Is he capable of better, probably so. Does he care to invest in you? You know the answer.
Guesswork games when there’s only 1 player suck.
No. No. And no.
Reckoning. Reconciling. Learning to trust again.
Just a little break from work and school stuff to share something I’ve been pondering the last week or so.
This pretty much applies to my single friends, but of course, anyone’s thoughts are welcome.
So…I’ve been dating for a couple of years now. If you know me, you know that the whole dating scene was pretty new to me after the divorce, right?
Let’s just say I’ve learned and continue to learn so much about myself and about my own patterns (good and bad) through this process. It’s easy to go where I am comfortable, even if comfort is not in my best interest.
If there is interest on both sides, I am learning the value in sticking with one person at least to explore each other for a time and not going on other dates during that time frame.
A dear friend and I had this conversation and I found so much significance in it. Online dating gives us the constant option to keep looking ‘for the next best thing’ and in doing so…we aren’t being present and exploring what’s right in front of us.
Why? For me, I think when I started dating, everyone just told me this is what we do…date lots of people…so I did with the exception of those two relationships. Honestly…not so fabulous.
All of that said…I have an observation. Out of the ‘sample population’ that I have dated…there have been a couple of relationships, many first dates, and a few several time dates. I think that sums it up.
Out of all of these, I can name only 3 people who have been totally honest with me. I mean honest in saying what their intentions are, whether they be a long term relationship, marriage, fun, or just sex. Three men. Not cool. (except one that was a little creepy honest and I could’ve done without that).
I get it if you aren’t sure what your intentions are…say it. I get it If you desire nothing but a sexual relationship, say it. To engage someone on this level and indicate that you want a relationship when that is not at all the truth…just a jerky thing to do. Give them an informed option.
I’m quickly losing my naivety but don’t want to become jaded in the process.
If you want to explore your relationship with someone and would like that to be something you are on the same page about, say it.
And for goodness gosh sake, if you are no longer interested, please, please, please be honest and kind and tender. Don’t just disappear. It is mean and it is cowardly.
We can all be grown up’s, right?
It just feels like dating increases the likelihood of disposability, like people are seen as objects rather than humans with a heart, emotions and a brain.
So…what’s your view? I am kinda not in the mood for jokes, I am truly seeking thoughtful feedback.
It is so strange how our life experiences serve to teach us…I think they do anyway.
I read a quote, “Instead of asking why is this happening to me, ask what is this teaching me?” Instant shift.
It really is an instant shift. I begin to ask myself what my accountability in the experience is, how it is familiar to choices I have made before, and I can explore what is at the root of my choice. Hopefully, even if I can’t clarify the lesson, I can find value in the journey.
Goodness sometimes life surprises me. People surprise me. Sometimes in ways that make my heart sting, other times in ways that make my heart soar…and everything in between. Trying to remember that in many cases, the hurt someone caused is so much more about them than me but my mind has a much easier time grasping this than my silly heart.
So, my questions of the day…what am I learning right in this moment and dear God, where do I go from here?
Happy Tuesday my loves. Enjoy your journey today (and every day)!