Thankful

So…I just wanted to share.
I had a first date with a man last night that I have been talking to for a few weeks.
For the first time in what feels like so long, I was super excited and nervous AND without expectation for this date. That’s what I was going to share yesterday, but my jaded self wanted to wait and see if the date even happened.

It was incredibly fun! There was stimulating, intelligent conversation, laughter, a bit of deeper sharing and it just flowed. My favorite part (besides all of this and that he is lovely to look at and smell); he didn’t seem to be running his own agenda.
After dating people who have left me feeling used (I totally have accountability in getting into those relationships) and empty; this was so refreshing. So far, there is nothing about this gentleman that makes me go ‘hmmmm?”

My worry is that in the past, I have misunderstood stable and healthy for boring. I’m determined to stay aware and keep honest with myself. I want to be a partner; I do not want to be someone’s therapist or mother. I am a natural nurturer and a therapist in real life; I just have to remind myself that in dating I want to be a partner in something real and reciprocal.

I am looking forward to the second date (again unusual for me). Whether it is one date, two dates or so much more; I am thankful beyond words for the encouraging experience.

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