Endings. Lessons.

You know… Over a year ago, a wonderful man came back into my life. We had initially met in 2018 when we were both really broken and we had a super fun time together.

We drifted apart but remained friends, checking in with each other over the years. That man came back into my life at the beginning of Covid.

A friendship grew into a real life relationship. We were a couple. 🙂 We even decided to put it on social media….”in a relationship “!

I remember when we did that, I was terrified. I was wondering what people would think. Were they think we were like giddy high schoolers?. Kind of we were… This part was a first for both of us.. And man did it feel good to know someone was proud to publicly and proudly “claim” me? Yes!

Would they judge us if it didn’t last? Would they relish in our togetherness and then make scandalous stories up about our demise? It was scary. We did it anyway.

So what’s the point of my sharing?

Relationships can be very scary. Each person has been traveling their own journey and very likely, one or both parties have been hurt before. Now we are supposed to trust and love again… Things that deepen (or don’t) with time.

If we are willing participants, relationships, whatever the outcome, teach things about ourselves.. Sometimes they teach us absolutely beautiful things that we are proud of… Like how big we are really able to love. Sometimes they teach us things about ourselves when another layer is exposed and we know that we need more healing. Either way… There are lessons to learn and beauty to be had.

Back to that wonderful man… We had time together filled with ups and downs just like life. We grew individually and together. We taught, loved and supported one another. In the end, we are better as friends in this season.

We are both back to “single“ as our relationship status on social media. I don’t feel silly or dumb. I feel thankful for the journey and proud that we opened ourselves up to the experience.

“Single” doesn’t change our value, our worthiness, or our desire to love and be loved.

Single doesn’t change that this man is one of the most extraordinary, big hearted, warriors that I have ever known.

Single doesn’t change how thankful I am for the journey, whatever the outcome.

We don’t love to win or to lose. We love to love.

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