Memories

My (our) dear big brother, Brent, is celebrating another birthday in heaven today! Truthfully, there probably are no birthdays in heaven and beautiful celebrations are always. Today I will do something special just to celebrate the impact Brent had on my life for the 15.5 years he was here, and still now. I miss him so.❤️🙏

Next, I tried to not mention this. Then, I tried to talk to less than five people about this. I accomplished that…for yesterday. Today is the day after what would’ve been my 20th wedding anniversary. The feelings that this brings up are incredibly different than they once were. I’m ok. He is ok. The kids are getting ok. Yet, somehow that date still has the power to get my thoughts spinning, my anxieties flourishing and my “what if” button activated. Blech.😳😥🤢

There are times when I want to wish a memory away. I say to myself, “Silly Sarah, memories are a beautiful gift and there is power in how you frame them.” 👓

I’m certainly not suggesting that it’s wise to look back through only rise colored glasses. I am suggesting that we look back and see the beauty of all the pieces that make us, “us”. 🌟

Look back with gratitude, for there is something in each part of our journey that has brought us a soulful lesson we might’ve otherwise missed. Look back, momentarily, and trust that we are exactly where we need to be in this moment.🌻.

I know with certainty that daddy would’ve loved if his memories had never been stolen. I think of the few blurred memories around the time of the stroke. These are powerful reminders for me. I won’t wish memories away. Rather, I’ll welcome them and wonder what they want me to know.🤗

Speaking of…November 9 will be 9 years away from the stroke and for this I am an incredible, indescribable, deep kind of grateful. I can walk, talk, dance, think, smell flowers, laugh, splash in the puddles, cry, pray, worship, sing, wear lipstick, write, tame wild bears, watch the sun rise and set, hug, serve, love…I can do nearly anything because my God is so good and my God is bigger than anything else. 🏃‍♀️🗣,💃🏻,🤔, 🌹🌷, 😂, ☔️, 😥, 🙏, ✝️, 🎤🎧, 💄, 👩‍💻, 🐻🦊, 🌅🌄, 🤗, ✌️, ❤️❤️❤️,

Today is a new day, thank God. I’m grateful for the few who got to hear my heart yesterday and generously covered me in love and prayers.🌹❤️🙏😇

In the midst of huge blessings and delightful new beginnings, there is a bit of stress and doubt. Currently, my fists are clenched pretty tight in areas that I’m pretty sure it would be best to loosen my grip and let God work. So, I earnestly ask you to continue to cover me and my family in your prayers and positive light. Really, those prayers and thoughts matter in the most significant, impactful ways.❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏

Have a glorious, love filled Wednesday!

❤️💜🧡💚💙💛💜💗❤️