I didn’t mean it like that…

I made a Facebook post today, and yesterday. A few misconstrued itbto be in regard to current situations with law officials or as a political agenda. Truly, it was neither.

My post was about our rape culture as a society. We have to do something drastic, different and immediate. Here’s what I wrote:

Listen up….I removed my post about rape culture yesterday. I removed it for one reason only….I could not have it be seen as a political move on my part, for it certainly was not. I did not want my feelings about rape culture to become an opportunity for personal political agendas or to encourage divisiveness among any party. I didn’t even notice that those quoted were Republicans, I didn’t care who they were. If you know my heart, you know that unless it’s in a field I am truly educated about, I steer clear of politics. I cared about what they said and understanding if it was in context. I care about the impact this culture has on myself, my clients, my children, my children’s children and so on.

.”Rape culture is a sociological concept for a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality.[1][2] Behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, slut-shaming, sexual objectification, trivializing rape, denial of widespread rape, refusing to acknowledge the harm caused by some forms of sexual violence, or some combination of these.[3][4] .”…Wikipedia

That said, do your research, please, please, please. I am a person who tends to sprinkle magic (aka idealization, denial, etc) in my thought processes. I want to believe the best of people and I use my magic to make people and our world the person or place that is a better version. This can be delightful and it can be a danger. In this case, the facts are ugly.

In working with victims of abuse and with sexual assault victims, I promise you the rape culture is real and pervasive. When we have 14 year old girls who are the victim of a violent rape being shamed on the stand by attorneys and even judges, this is rape culture. When we have a teen boy who is molested by a youth minister and we have the youth minister sent to another state and the situation swept under the rug to protect the church reputation, this is rape culture. When a highschooler is cornered in a stairwell at school by a star basketball player, and has her breasts and genitals groped (although she clearly says no) as video evidenced, and nothing happens to him but a few days in detention bc he would miss a game…this is rape culture. When a transgender person is at high risk for abuse/rape and it is said that they are a freak and what did they expect…this is rape culture.

Do I believe that we should base an entire person’s reputation on one thing said that we don’t even know if it’s in context? No. I am saying research and understand rather than turn a blind eye. Do I believe we should forgive when we can? YES, forgiveness is a gift to our heart and the person we forgive may never even want our forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t obliterate consequence. I’m just saying love your neighbor, open your eyes and see reality. Please. I want a different world for my own babies and for yours too.

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